Over 40 dating tips and advice....
Firstly I think it would be fair to say that by far the majority of people using online dating and introduction services are honest and genuine in there quests. This is particularly true on fee paying sites. Not that we have anything against free dating sites but they can tend to attract, shall we say, the less serious or people with an alternative motives. However that does not mean to say it would not be sensible to take some common sense precautions without getting paranoid about it as some other writers would have you do. The whole purpose of the exercise is to have fun meeting new people and of course, for many, the chance of meeting that special person for a long term romance.
Initially use the communication tools provided. One of the main advantages of online dating is the safety factor of being anonymous, so take advantage of this while getting to know your new friends. When you are more confident and feeling comfortable with the person you are conversing with you then have to use your own personal judgment as of when you reveal your personal email address or number. As the relationship develops you will have to start thinking about meeting for real, your first date. This of course will bring a mix of emotions, anticipation, excitement, apprehension, as well as possible disappointment so there is a bit to deal with here including the safety aspect
First date: Pre-arrange the venue and meet their, arrange your own transportation and then if things go wrong you can leave at anytime. Keep the date short, again if things don't go well its not long before it’s over with. First impressions count high so ware something that suites you and you feel comfortable in, its nerve racking enough for both parties without having to worry about uncomfortable clothing. Talking about old partners, broken relationships, divorce's etc. is a absolute no no, keep the conversation light and don't just talk about yourself, ask some questions and show interest in the answers even if your not, be polite and courteous, be attent
Safety first: Especially from a females perspective when ever you are meeting your online friend face to face for the first time you should always take some basic precautions.
Firstly good honest people will not pressurize you into a meeting, so if they are putting pressure on you or using any form of threatening behaviour you should immediately end the connection and have nothing else to do with them.
When you decided you are ready to meet an online friend that you have enjoyed conversing with it is recommended that you do so at busy time of day and in a public place, pre-arrange the location and your own transportation, a coffee shop is an ideal place.
Always let a close friend and or a family member know where you are going and with whom you are meeting. You could also state the time you intend to arrive home but remember to keep them informed if you change your plans.
Agree before hand that your first meeting will be a short one, in that way if you are not comfortable with your new friend and feel certain you will not want to see them again; you only have to spend a short time with them before making your departure. You can plan a longer date for another time if all goes well.
Remember you have no obligation to stay, so if at anytime during the date you feel uncomfortable just make your excuses and leave. If you feel that you are in any danger ask for help from the staff or some else or if you feel that the situation warrants it call the authorities. You will generally fine that your own judgement in these situations is right so trust it.
Again I state you will find that most people are honest and genuine but it is as well to follow the guidelines, so be yourself, be happy and have fun but be safe.
Dating tips for men: Firstly there are no magic formulas, no clever tricks, no certain ways of getting that perfect girl. So you can forget looking for a magic wand routine, there isn't one. But, there are some essential facts that can help you along. Dating tips are tips, they are not a guarantee, and obviously all women are different and therefore will respond differently to different things. However, there are some constants, some threads of advice that keep come up time and time again so we must presume that there is something in them.
Be prepared for dating, firstly decide what you are searching for, are you looking for a long term relationship, if so what sort of a person will fit the bill or are you less serious, just want to have fun meeting different people or are your intentions purely sexually driven? Use the best site for your aims, in other words it is unlikely you will find your perfect long term partner on the casual sex site or wanted ad and visa versa. So be honest to yourself and others what you are about, also be prepare to take some knocks/rejections but remember everyone will suffer them at onetime or another so do not let it dent your ego or confidence, there is someone for everyone.
Feeling good about yourself and looking your best. Now, I know the gym and watching what you eat is not for everyone but if you are well groomed, well dressed well shoed, with good hygiene you will feel a lot better about yourself and immediately become more attractive, so get your hair cut or even restyled, clean groomed face, nose, ears and nails. Then have a look in your wardrobe, it probably time you invested in some new clothes, maybe even think about a whole new image but buy clothes that suit or flatter you. I can not over state the importance of appearance and if you will feel good about yourself you will feel much more confident therefore will be much more attractive.
Good manners cost nothing and go along way, so brush up on them and be courteous, do not use foul language, show respect at all times. Be on time. Going on about the virtues of drinking down the pub every night and how good that winning goal was is not a good idea, you'd be better to keep up with current affairs. Don't just ramble on ask questions, show interest in the answers, don't just talk listen.
Be realistic, aim your intentions at people you have a good chance of hitting it off with. It probably sounds obvious but it’s amazing how many overweight middle aged men who like a sleep in the afternoon think that they are attractive to a twenty year old models! OK I here you say nice work if you can get it and good luck if you can! Of course that is an extreme example if not fantasy but serves to show what I am trying to get across, if you are realistic and focus on people that have a similar outlook and interests etc. you are much more likely to connect.
People like the thrill of the chase with a bit of mystery, so don't give out the whole picture on your first date, hold something back keep them guessing. For those seeking long time relationships resist the sexual angle in early dates. If things look good at the start, give it plenty of time, don't bare all at once hold something's back to allow emotions to develop first. The longer things go on the there's more chance of a lasting relationship developing.
Dating tips for women. Having covered the safety aspect of dating under the Safety first and first dates I offer here a few tips which may help you in having a successful date.
Whatever your budget look your best on your dates. You will know what type of outfit suits you best, how to wear your hair and makeup to best effect so I am not going to make any comment about those angles only to say as the women you have advantage so put the effort in on your appearance and look your best as you could be about to meet your dream man. The quote 'he loves me for who I am not what I look like' might well be true in long standing established relationships but it certainly is not in new ones.
Keeping those early dates brief will keep him interested and coming back for more.
It’s the lady's prerogative to be late, don’t over do it and don’t turn up early.
Never pre-suppose anything about your date.
Even when you really want to talk to him let the answer phone cut in a few times at let him leave messages before replying, don't always be available on the day he wants, be a bit awkward if you like, sounds cruel but believe me it works. Again we of course we are talking of the early stages of a relationship here so its all part of the thrill of the chase keeping them keen.
Always keep something back; never reveal the full picture straight off. Men, like women, like the thrill of the chase. Allow things to develop over numerous dates so as to allow emotions to develop. You want the guy to fall for you before you will consider sleeping with him. Sex very early on in the dating arena generally means thing will not last.
If he has displays bad manners, is not courteous, uses bad language or shows any form of threatening behaviour my advice is to break off contact immediately how ever much you may like his looks and appearance. Same goes if he shows signs of possessiveness and insecurity cut and run.
Never ever talk about the number of ex partners you have had and how good or bad they where in the bedroom department, nothing is more likely to make him or her run a mile.
If you are of child baring age do not mention on early dates that you long for a baby.
Avoid having one to many drinks as we know it can impair judgement.
The online dating experience is pleasurable and safe one but do apply the same common sense that you would in everyday life most of all do have fun in your dating.
Dating should be fun but if things don't go well in your dating quest initially don't be too hard on yourself and don’t get despondent about it. If necessary take a break from your dating quest. Finding the right partner, in some cases, can take a bit of time so keep optimistic and your confidence levels high. Remember every year many thousands of people find love with a new partner through online dating sites and your perfect match could be only a click away!